3 Reasons Women Stay In Toxic Relationships
It’s so easy to judge somebody’s else’s relationship from the outside looking in; especially when you think your life is perfect, or at least that’s what many folks try to portray. As soon as life seems to be all good with your man and you both are having a good week with no disagreements or arguments, you start feeling yourself a little too much and think you can pass judgment on someone else’s situation. Hold on sis, don’t get too excited about your perfect love life. You’ll be surprised how things can change in a split second. Don’t be so quick to criticize your homegirl’s issues; trouble may be at your door next.
Funny how most women have that one friend or family member in a dysfunctional relationship and the situation is always a mess. The guy is just disrespectful, always cheating and self-centered. And you can’t quite understand why your homegirl keeps running back to the dude who treats her like crap. When will it finally be over so she can stop sobbing over someone who doesn’t want her? Why isn’t she strong enough to move on? How come every time she breaks up with this maniac, he calls with a simple apology and she’s running back like they weren’t at each other’s throat last week? We question, gossip, and form opinions without knowing the depth of the situation.
It’s not easy leaving someone you love.
Depending on the circumstances, many times couples have time invested, children involved, and emotions keeping them connected. I know you’re tired of hearing about your buddy’s boyfriend problems and wish she would just leave him for good. The answer to your friend’s predicament may seem simple to you but to her, she really wants the relationship to work out. He’s all she’s known. A lot of times she’s stuck on how good things used to be and in complete denial that the good times are gone.
Men will only do what you allow. As soon as they think they can talk to you any kind of way, flirt with other women with no consequences or worse put their hands on you, it’s a wrap. I mean….how many times does someone have to keep apologizing for the same act. Men who develop patterns and routines of treating women like dirt don’t change very easily. At some point, women have to wake-up, do what’s best for them, and say good-bye for good; even if it hurts.
You have to decide for yourself what’s right for you and set boundaries.
If you keep attracting the wrong men, maybe being alone is just the best option. It’s time to get yourself together first and worry about a man later. A doggish man can sniff an insecure woman from a mile away. He already has his strategy in place to con you just so he can have his way with your mind, body and sometimes your finances.
I guess the question is, why do women allow themselves to go through this torture? What’s keeping them connected to someone that mistreats them? Yep, it’s easy to question your girlfriend. But what if it was you. Almost everyone has had their fair share of worthless men. Sometimes instead of women owning up to how unintelligent they were during that crazy time in their life, they play like the relationship never existed. As if they didn’t go running back to “Mr. Toxic” a few times, even giving sexual favors, believing all those broken promises before they finally called it quits.
Let’s discuss a few reasons why women stay in toxic relationships.
1. Kids Are Part of The Equation
There are so many men and women trying to keep their boyfriend/girlfriend relationship afloat because of the kids. No one wants to be a single parent. Many women want their children growing up in a two-parent household because they never had that situation growing up. So they sacrifice their feelings to keep the family together. The woman and the guy don’t get along too often, communication is poor, and they barely even touch each other. But the kids get the love and attention they need. For many couples, that’s all that matters. However, eventually, the kids will grow up and move out. Then it’s time to face reality.
2. Financial Security
Is it just me or does it seem like a man with a little bread in the bank can keep a woman and a side chick if needed. There are women who are satisfied with being in an unhealthy relationship as long as the funds are coming in. It’s no secret that women like to shop and some ladies are only satisfied with the finer things in life. The scenario is always too familiar….your homegirl knows he’s cheating, but as long as he’s paying the bills she’s ignoring everything that’s going on. Yea, he calls her out her name, embarrassing her in public from time to time, but as long as she can buy that designer bag she wants and get her hair & nails done on his dime, she’s cool. Her main priority is materialistic things and she’s willing to be disrespected to keep the coins rolling in.
3. Insecurities & Emotional Problems
Some women need to take time and learn how to learn themselves before diving into a relationship. Many of us grew up with male issues that started with our fathers and we don’t even know how it feels to be treated well by a man. In some instances, women didn’t have a man in the house when they were younger or even worse, it could be the men they saw growing up were abusive. Many ladies have deep-rooted pain from their childhood, or teenage years and feel like they need a man no matter how he treats them. That logic is completely unacceptable. As my mom always told me “You can do bad all by yourself.” A man should make you a better woman not bring you down. Women deserve good men who love them; anything less just won’t cut it.