Dear Side-Chick, You Were Never Meant To Be Second

Dear Side-Chick, You Were Never Meant To Be Second

Girl, leave that married man alone. That man has a family with kids. He made a vow to love his wife through the good, bad, sickness, and health. Don’t get in the middle of a union built under God. I know he told you were pretty and that extra money he’s giving up for a little ass comes in handy. You’re exchanging your body for cash. But Ms. Lady, listen to wise advice, God did not intend for you to be a prostitute. Let him be. Block his number. You are far too smart and beautiful to be second. Why settle?


You deserve to be in first place – not on the side and especially not a secret. There’s no reason why you should be engaging with a guy who only meets up with you for sex, or who can’t walk around with you in public in fear that he’ll be “seen” with you. Sis, you’re better than that. Date a man who is single. You don’t need the hassle of being a side-chick. Besides, what if his wife finds out? Do you fear for your life? I know it makes sense for the wife to get mad at the husband only, but, that’s not always the case. I mean, you know he’s married. She might feel the need to let all her anger out on you. Being a side chick is dangerous. You don’t need that type of drama.

Get out there and make your own bread. You don’t need to exchange your vagina for dollars. Instead, you can work hard, have faith, and build a thriving career. Further your education and follow your dreams. He doesn’t love you and he’s using you. These men are something else. They want to have their cake and eat it too. And here you are walking around all googly-eyed, thinking this man is going to leave his wife and put you first. Nope girl, he’s stringing you along. Well, guess what? You are in control of your life, nobody else. Make the decision to end this trifling affair. Send him back home to his wife. He is no longer welcome in your life, your heart, or inside your body.

Who made you feel like you weren’t good enough? Or that you didn’t deserve a whole man but only half of one? Was it your absent daddy who played a non-existent role in your life? Or was it promiscuous women you saw growing up posing as role models; making you believe sex and money go hand and hand with each other no matter who gets hurt? You probably felt like you needed a quick buck because the bills were behind and an eviction notice was soon going to follow. Maybe just maybe you were looking for love in all the wrong places. Home-boy with the wife and kids preyed on your vulnerable self, making you think he was prince-charming. Be strong and let him go. You don’t need anyone blocking your blessings.

You can make a choice to be first. Set standards on what you won’t accept. Your life matters. Have some morals. That man is taken. Send him home and don’t entertain his company anymore. You’re better than that honey. The sex ain’t that good. There’s a man out there who will satisfy you just the same if not better. Be with someone that’s not ashamed of you, who doesn’t have to hide you, and who will bring you home to meet his family. No matter what he says, he doesn’t really love you. But God does. And you should respect yourself enough to not want to share a man with another woman.

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