Listen To What God Told You

Listen To What God Told You

For a while I wondered why God was so hard on me but seemed to let others slide with their sins, inconsistencies, and disrespectful behavior. But now, I think I have an understanding of why my life has gone that way that it has. As a young woman, I had to go through certain situations in order to get where God needed me to be today. I had to go through this in order to see it like that. There were certain steps the Lord needed me to take in order to succeed. And when I tried to take shortcuts to achieve a goal much faster, God made me start ALL the way over again. Father God, I get it now and I trust you with my marriage, my kids, my goals, my finances, my health, and my future. My faith is stronger than what it’s been in a while.

God, I hear you loud and clear. I’m sorry for ignoring you and trying to do it “my way” when it’s obvious your plan was best.

I can’t eat and drink what I want all the time and I need to work out. Taking shots and drinking hard liquor was never apart of your plan for me. You need me healthy and sober in order to carry out your plan. I apologize for zoning out your voice with other people’s criticism, broken promises, lies, and insults. Please forgive me for trying to fit in and feeling a certain type of way when I didn’t.  You created me to be a leader, not a follower. I’ve always been misunderstood but you know me. I’m your child, made in your image. You understand me perfectly.

Envy was never one of my traits. Telling a woman she’s beautiful always came naturally to me. Listening to someone’s problems without judgment always made me feel good. Laughing and making others smile has always warmed my heart. Being alone with my goals and creativity has made me feel like I’m on top of the world. I’m different, seen as weird to many, however, appreciated by most. But now, I’m at the point in my life where I don’t care what others think about me. I’m growing numb to pain however open to all the possibilities of living the rest of my life loving myself, my husband, and children with your lead.

There was a purpose in that pain.

I went through all that drama, all those setbacks, and all those storms for a reason. You were making me stronger, preparing me for what I prayed for. And here I was giving the devil all the credit. God, I underestimated you. You are far stronger than Satan could ever be. If you allowed it, it was part of the plan. What didn’t kill me made me stronger. You made sure of that. Like Job, you put a hedge around me, shielding my life. I guess all those haters, backstabbers, and bullies didn’t know what I was made and who I answered to. Thank you Lord for protecting me, my feelings, my heart, and my soul. When I needed someone, you were there loving me unconditionally filling all the voids where I felt empty.

Jesus, I found so much joy and fullness in my existence when I started loving you.

Thank you for what you’ve done and what you’re getting ready to do. There is no need for me to walk around with any regret. My past made me the patient, understanding, confident, and creative dreamer I am today. Because of you, I’m ok with being different. I know humans were created to be there own person with their own vision. Wait no, correction, with your vision and purpose. This journey of life was never about me and my wants, it’s centered around loving you. Through you, I will be blessed with far more than I can imagine. 

Now I ask myself, why was I trying to obtain things so fast when real success takes time? In the past, I thought a year felt like 5 years and now a year is starting to feel like a week. I’m not rushing anymore. I’m taking my time but working hard while staying focused and more consistent.

Lord, guide my steps, keep me nice, sweet, and compassionate.

The world has a way of changing you for the worse. But, not me. I will always be sincere and understanding but also protective of my family and peace. My children and husband mean everything to me. I never knew how to love a man and struggled with submission for a long time. Thank you for teaching me how to love my husband.

Father, I will listen to your word going forward. I got sidetracked for a minute and trusted the wrong people; lesson learned. Lord, I’m here vulnerable, heart open, ready to sacrifice for your purpose for my life.

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